I accidentally gave my dad a map, that I thought was empty, 'cause he needed one. It turned out to be a map from last year that had lots of details about my diet, intakes, current weights and goals.
Dad gave it back and said that it wasn't empty and had some sort of "calculations". I know he read everything on it, 'cause he had it for a few days and I'm sure he was curious. He did pretend that he doesn't really know what it was about, but he did mention that it was something related to weight loss. And now he knows how little I ate for months. It's not healthy to eat 100-300 kilocalories a day and everybody knows that.
I feel so ashamed. I don't want him to know. I pretended like it was nothing, but inside I panicked. If he read everything on it, then I'm screwed. He didn't ask me anything about it, he jst gave it back. No questions whatsoever. Weird.
He knows that I eat more these days and I don't think he's too worried anymore, but I think seeing all those numbers and everything made him realise how sick I've been. He knows that he didn't get worried for nothing. He knows that I've had problems with eating and that it never goes away, even though I'm not as skinny anymore.
I'm just gonna try to forget that he ever saw it, 'cause there's nothing I can do about it anymore.
In other news, I'm going to London this Saturday. Can't wait!
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Wow that'd be crazy awkward... you're just waiting for his reaction.. I love your attitude though, I'd just forget about it too because you can't undo it.
ReplyDeletexo
Darling darling beautiful girl!
ReplyDeleteI just read over your past month of blogs which I have missed, and it gave me a smile through al the difficulty I have been having lately. We are kindred spirits! Our high and low points seem to coincide exactly, our high weights, our lows weights and our regained weights. Seeing you do well makes me believe I can do well again!
I miss my regular blogging, and catching up with your blog, and seeing the numbers drop and feeling like I was powerful and special. Remember that? Let's do it again! I believe in you.
xxx
Vietä ihana matka!
ReplyDeleteNauti olostasi siellä.
Sun blogi on upee ja olet upee pikkuinen <3
wow.
ReplyDeletelooks like mondays really are fuck ups. MY Dad just discovered I'm puking.(see my recent posts)
I really hope you are not getting into trouble!!!! :X
Being discovered by parents is possibly the worst thing that can happen, and somehow it makes it so much worse when they say nothing, cos you know they're thinking it right?
ReplyDeleteYou'll love London, it's amazing. Hope you have fun xxx
I'm glad he hasn't said anything to you. Maybe he realizes it's a private thing.
ReplyDeleteI told my mom once and in addition to getting me counseling and everything she TOLD EVERYONE. It was a fucking nightmare. Like why would you tell my little brother???
So I'm sure your dad is just doing the right thing and respecting your privacy :-)